funny quotes

my friend to me over drinks,” you have an IUD, i have a DUI!”
then we high fived..sounds awful to laugh at, but we are able to now.

my boss today…”if i quit eating meat will i get super skinny too?”
(not in reference to me, as i do eat meat and am not super-skinny).
I thought this one was a good number 2.

my friends have reminded me of an old saying i used quite frequently, and had since forgotten. they now have a bouncing baby boy, so of course, we use acronyms for bad words, and other such adult – type topics.
“F.M.L” (fuck my life)…… an oldie, but a goodie. here’s to bringing it back.
along with “turbo douche”, a term for the worst of the worst.

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